REQUIRED READING: "Men Don't Love Women Like You"; Book Review

So my goal for 2017 was all about self-realization, self-improvement, and action! So far I've achieved a lot of the steps to achieving many of my personal goals, from losing over 20 pounds by changing my eating habits, to paying off my student loan debt this year (Thank you Jesus!), and sitting down with my Financial Advisor about getting my butt in gear on getting my finances in check, just to name a few.

Another thing that I wanted to work on this year was getting my mind in the right place to date with purpose. My dating and relationship resume is admittedly pretty terrible, and over the last two years I came to the reality that as often as I've just blamed all the men I've dated for our relationship/situationship/dating failures, I am the common denominator. Now, the question at that point was, 'if I'm doing something wrong to ruin these relationships, then what it is it that I'm doing wrong?' It's been quite the quandary. I've bugged many friends and family, read lots of dating advice books, and even sought a professional counselor trying to get insight on what I've been doing. Sadly, I still had no idea what I was doing wrong. I decided to stop dating and put myself in time out while figuring these things out. It led me to a journey of self-discovery which got into high gear at the end of last year. At the point when I was ready, and God thought that I was ready, I stumbled upon a blog post on my Facebook timeline advertising the book, Men Don't Love Women Like You by GL Lambert. After reading a few paragraphs of the blog post on the website www.solvingsingle.com, I knew that this book was going to be the swift kick in the ass that I had been looking for! And boy, was it!

If you have ever had trouble communicating with men, been unsure if a guy is worth dating or not, wondered if a guy is playing you, questioned if you should have sex with a guy you're dating or if you should wait longer, if you've had trouble attracting men, or if you've struggled with getting a commitment from a guy past the dating stage, THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU! I repeat, this is REQUIRED READING.

I don't know who GL Lambert is, but somehow this man knows my life! I mean, my WHOLE life! I don't know how this total stranger knew so much about my past, my thoughts, my behavior, my insecurities, and everything else, but somehow Mr. Lambert (which I'm sure is a pseudonym) knew me! Instead of "Tina Typical", he might as well had said "Caprice."  *insert embarrassed emoji here*

First of all, this book is not for the faint of heart. Lambert is not here to save your feelings honey! There's a lot of harsh TRUE accusations in this book about who you are and have been, and what you need to do to change your way of thinking about men, dating, relationships, and YOURSELF! There's lots of cursing in the book, from the b-word, p-word, the f-bomb, and everything in between. But there's also a wealth of great insight in this book, fantastic analogies and examples, and clever and current pop culture references, which make for an amazing read!

While reading MDLWLY, I found myself overcome with a ton of emotions, everything from happiness and hopefulness about my future love life with this great expert advice, to embarrassment and guilt regarding all of the many, many mistakes that I've made in my dating life in the past which made me feel like an idiot looking back now. However, the guidance and advice that's in this book has given me endless amounts of wisdom into my past mistakes and things I should watch out for in the future, so that when a man even thinks he can run a game on me, I can counteract. I now don't have to just sit and watch it happen, waiting for the air to blow out of my relationship tires as I've been doing.

The book also is as much a book about dating advice as it is about empowering women. The whole point of the book is to prove to women that you are stronger than you think you are, and that you can take control over yourself, your dating life, what you will and won't tolerate from a man. This book is like "Think Like a Man Act Like a Lady" on steroids and a molly! It's 371 pages of pure FACT!

I told a friend about this book last week and she's already bought it, and is almost half way through it! She also can't believe how much it's helped her in realizing the mistakes that she's made in her love life, and how right on the money this book is!

 I needed severe help, and I can't express to you how much this book has helped me! It has seriously changed my life. This book is like a textbook that you can always go back and refer to when you get in certain situations. It's similar to a handbook with step-by-step instructions, and outlines everything from your first conversation with a man to how to behave during your first date, to how to communicate with your boyfriend during situations when you have gotten into a committed relationship. It is truly the FINAL WORD in dating advice books! Don't wait to go read this book! I promise you, you will NOT be disappointed!

The Best Scary Movie I Have Ever Witnessed! "GET OUT" Movie Review

Ever since the preview first came out last fall for a strange film that seemed to depict an interesting take on the experience that all black people face when in an unfamiliar all-white environment, that was astonishingly written and directed by Jordan Peele, I knew I HAD to see this movie! And how convenient was it that the movie was titled, "Get Out." So simple, yet so powerful. Quickly the trailer was spread like viral wildfire all across the Interwebs.

The Plot: Imagine, you are a black man who is about to meet his white girlfriend's parents for the first time. You already feel slightly uncomfortable because you're not sure how you'll be perceived by the white parents and don't know what you're getting into. You arrive and notice strange occurrences and not only feel uncomfortable by being the "only chip in the cookie" so-to-speak, but feel like something is going on here that you you know isn't right and your safety is in danger. It's time to "Get Out." *pa-dum-ching*

Well, now I've seen "Get Out" and it DID NOT disappoint! The acting was excellent, the cinematography and pacing of the film were great, and the plot was superb! A thriller with just enough funny lines to keep it interesting and not too scary. The audience participation that we, the audience, enjoyed at the end also added to the experience of course. The suspense of the film had us all entranced throughout the entire film. Will this brotha make it out of this crazy place alive, or will he fall victim to this twilight zone in the 'burbs? That was the question throughout the entire film.

All of the actors did a great job, and did a fine job of making the audience experience this slightly "off" suburb where things are just not right, and there's far too many white people, and the few black people there are a little too odd for comfort. I especially was fond of Mr.TSA himself, Chris's best friend Rod, played Lil Rel Howery. He was the comic relief and dose of black horror audience realness that the audience needed and deserved! Well done sir, well done.

If I had any complalint, it was sometimes hard to understand what was being said at different parts by the film's leading man portrayed by Daniel Kaluuya. Granted, many of his lines were said under his breath, in the way that many of us speak about people who we find to be crazy or while in awkward situations. So again, still not bad.

Now I'm not a fan of horror movies at all, but "Get Out" was really exciting, thrilling, and entertaining experience that you really must see! Even if you hate scary movies as much as I do, I promise you'll enjoy this one and won't be up at night thinking about it with the nightlight on.

Even though I know that Jordan Peele is biracial and is married to a white woman, I can't help but wonder how this film may make black men dating white women feel about meeting the parents for the first time... Things that make you go hmmmmm.

Excellent job Jordan Peele! This was the type of fresh, out-of-the-box thinking that Hollywood needs. We're tired of remakes! We've seen every possible variation of ghosts and slasher flicks that we can stand! Give us something fresh and different please! "Get Out" delivered in all aspects.

Go see "Get Out" in theaters everywhere Friday, February 24, 2017. The 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes is completely legit! You won't be disappointed!

Photos Courtesy of Universal Pictures.

Valentine's Day OOTD

Here we are a week ahead of the most romantic day of the year and we need to figure out what we're going to wear.  Whether you're boo'd up or a lady in waiting, you need to have the perfect look to celebrate.  In case you need some inspiration, here's an outfit idea.

This dress is by New York & Company and features 3/4 sleeves, a good zipper in the back,  and red faux leather panel down the middle for some edginess.

It hugs all the right curves while still being modest which is a plus! And the best part is that this dress comes in straight and plus sizes, AND comes in tall (which I'm sporting).

For my accessories,  I kept it simple with chunky, gold hoop earrings from H&M ($5), sheer black tights with small polka dots for fun,  and sleek black leather ankle boots.

No matter how you spend your Valentine's Day, I hope you enjoy yourself and remember, YOU should be your own valentine first!

Happy Valentine's Day!

The Results Are In! End of January Check-In

Roughly two weeks ago, I wrote in my last post about how I was taking new steps toward a new lifestyle change in 2017. I mentioned in the post that I was looking to improve my physical health, mental health, and financial health. Well here we are on January 31st and I am here with an update.

Since I weighed myself on January 2, 2017, I have lost...*drum roll please* 

11 POUNDS!!!!!!!

Again keep in mind that this month I have only changed my diet and eating habits. I have NOT EXERCISED ONE TIME THIS MONTH! When I tell you, that you are what you eat... Man, that is the truth! I have cut back on sugary drinks, alcoholic beverages, carbs, fast food, and sweets. Now, please note that I said that I have "cut back" on these things. I haven't given them up completely. I've just been doing things in moderation, and the results don't lie, it's made a world of difference. I've also been drinking more water during the day, and have consistently done meal prepping, which is easier than you think. Stores like Aldi and Trader Joe's have been my go-to places for staples and fresh produce at affordable prices. You seriously can't beat it!

Of course there's been temptations. In my department at work, we celebrate birthdays with cake and ice cream. This month I stuck to my goals and didn't partake, even when everyone was commenting on how good the cake was, I still didn't have any of it. (It was rough!)

As for my mental health, I've been doing some reading, specifically with self-help books. The latest one that I finished was titled "Manifesting: The Secret behind the Law of Attraction" by Alexander Janzer. It's an easy and helpful read about manifestation and how it relates to the Law of Attraction, and ways that you can incorporate daily routines in your life to help you attract positive outcomes from the universe. This book can help anyone adjust their way of thinking to get themselves out of a rut and into a more rewarding life. For only $5 on Amazon, you really can't beat it!

My financial health has also improved this month, primarily because I've been doing the meal prepping for lunch every day. It has kept me from getting fast food and eating out as much, which in turn has helped me not spend as much money as I have in the past. Also I've been practicing moderation in all aspects of my life. I've been avoiding going shopping this month. I used to live at the mall, but not anymore. I've got a gift card to one of my favorite stores, Charming Charlie, that I've had since Christmas and still haven't been sweating about using it, as I have done in the past. 

It's amazing how the power of positive thinking, determination, moderation, and faith can really change your life. I used to laugh when people used the term "lifestyle change" around me, now here I am in the middle of a lifestyle change and enjoying its rewards!

Stay Tuned!

New Year. New Everything!

Greetings! And Happy New Year! During the last quarter of 2016, I took some time to reflect on myself and spend some time focusing on self-care. Self-care and introspection are so important, and it's so easy to get caught up in the needs of others, the demands placed upon us, deadlines at work, etc. that we forget that we need to take some time out for ourselves, to really understand what we want, who we are, and who we're trying to be. So that's what I've been up to the last couple months, and it's all been to prepare me for my goals for the new year, so that I could start 2017 with a clear mind, focus, and a plan.

I know that we all hate the phrase at this point, "new year, new me." It's become so cliche', and let's face it, more often than not, we are the same us in the new year. Well, this year I took a different mantra: New Year. New Everything! I know that you're asking, "uh Caprice, what's the difference?" Through my self-reflection at the end of 2016, I truly found out a lot of interesting things about myself that I need to work on.

I needed to have a FOR REAL paradigm shift for me to grow. I've been feeling pretty stagnant in my life throughout the years. Sure there's been some small changes that have occurred here and there (i.e. new job, new apartment, etc), but no major changes. I found out the last few months that because my paradigm hasn't changed, I haven't changed. A paradigm is the way that you look at the world. I finally got some clarity on some issues that I personally have been dealing with and how those issues have impacted EVERY aspect of my life. I'm going to keep those issues to myself, at this point, but I am going to share with you my goals for 2017 and how today, two weeks into the year, I've already been making progress.

Rather than have "New Year's Resolutions", I prefer to just make goals for myself. Often in the past, the goals that I've planned for the year have been few and somewhat vague. But this year, my goals are totally different, and they may be goals that can help you improve your life as well.

2017 Goals

• Love myself more.
• Forgive myself for things that I've done in the past that I'm not proud of.
• Forgive others for things that they have done to me in the past that have hurt me.
• Let go of the past.
• Trust myself more and trust my instincts.
• Don't give anyone power over my emotions.
• Let go of things that I have no control over.
• Make firm goals and plans to achieving them.
• Be more productive in my free time.
• Drink more water and replace sugary drinks with water.
• Do meal prepping and eat more clean meals, and eat less processed and fast food.
• Reduce carbs in my diet.
• Reduce  my liquor intake.
• Stop making excuses.
• Have a more positive outlook, rather than a negative outlook.
• Be more patient with myself and with others.

Now as you see, this list has a lot of personal affirmations, but I truly believe, and God has confirmed it, if I practice doing these things, then everything else will fall into place. My personal relationships with others will improve. My confidence will improve. My mental and physical health will improve. My finances will improve. My career will improve.

Think about it. When we our paradigm is negative, our outlook is negative, and our attitude is negative, the same negative patterns in our lives will continue to occur. We'll repeat the same cycle and have the same outcome. It's been said by many, "you can't continue to do the same behavior and expect a different outcome." It's the truth. And there's no way that I, or you, can improve and be the best people that we can be and be the most effective by not breaking negative cycles that lead to no changes. Our society doesn't benefit from us holding back our talents and gifts, and we don't benefit from this either.

So the food and health aspects of my list I've already started doing since the beginning of the year. I did my first official meal prep on January 4th, and had smoothies for breakfast every day that week and had the meal prep for lunch each day. (Stay tuned for future meal prep and smoothie recipes) Last week, from January 9th through January 13th, I participated in a liquid fast with my church, where we could not eat food from 10pm to 10am. I challenged myself even further by only drinking water during those hours, no juice, no tea, no smoothies, just water. I have not eaten as many carbs, or drunk as much liquor (maybe no more than 2 alcoholic beverages per week and no white wine).

I am proud to say that I weighed myself on January 2nd and weighed myself again yesterday, January 14th and I am already down 6 pounds! And that's just based on my eating habits. I haven't exercised at all, but that is coming in February. I'm only focused on judging the effects of a new diet for January.

My Meal Prep Recipe: Cilantro Chicken with Lime and Rice and Beans

4 Skinless Boneless Chicken Breasts

Salt and Pepper to taste

Pinch of Lawry's seasoning

Sprinkle of Dried Cilantro Seasoning

1/2 Lemon

1 Cup of Brown Rice

1 Can of Black Beans

1 Lime, cut into quarters

1 Tablespoon of Butter

Boil your rice in a medium pot. Follow the cooking directions on the bag package and occasionally stir. Cook with water and a tablespoon of butter.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees

In a medium pot on the stove, warm a whole can of Black Beans on a low heat setting for approximately 20 minutes. Occasionally stir.

Take your chicken breasts and season them gently with all of the dry seasonings. Put them in the oven for 30-45 minutes, or until fully cooked through and tender.

After chicken is fully cooked, take them out of the oven and squeeze the halved lemon all over the chicken breasts.

In your meal prep containers, put equal amounts of rice, beans, and chicken. It comes out to being 1 cup of rice, 1/4 cup of beans, and 1 chicken breast. Put a lime quarter in each container.

In a small disposable plastic container that fits inside the container, add no more than 2 teaspoons of your favorite salsa. I used a nice mild peach salsa.

Refrigerate up to 4 days. Remove the lime when you're ready to reheat the container in the microwave when you're ready to eat. Then squeeze the lime all over the chicken, rice, and beans.

Enjoy!

Stay tuned for future meal prep recipes, smoothie batching recipes, and progress reports. Remember, practice makes perfect with all things! Don't be too hard on yourself.

XOXO

A Night of Fun, Beauty, and Body Empowerment; Curvy Grl's Nite Out!

The lovely ladies of Fluffly Grl Movement, Dangerous Curves, and Zephyr Wine Salon

This past Saturday evening, I had the great pleasure of attending the Curvy Grl's Nite Out event, hosted by Fluffy Grl Movement and Dangerous Curves. (And no,that is not a typo) The event was held at Zephyr Wine Salon in the Grove.

The event was held to promote both organizations which promote body empowerment for all sizes, and especially those of us on the curvier size. At the event there were a number of great vendors including Jewels 2 Dazzle (which was featured in my recent post about the Natural Hair and Black Cultural Expo), Brass Pineapple Company (look out for a future product review about them), Aims Moon Paperie, and Mary Kay. There were also hor'douvres for everyone to enjoy, great raffle prizes for guests to enter to win, and fun swag bags for all in attendance.

 The display for Brass Pineapple

Myself and Event Co-Host of the event, Ebbi Nicole

The event was a lot of fun and also featured signature cocktails, the pink Curvy Cutie and the glittery purple Feirce Fluff. It was a great opportunity to network and fellowship with fellow feirce women in the St. Louis area.

Ebbi Nicole SLAYING in a fabulous jumpsuit by Honey's Child Boutique

Me and fellow blogger Jeanne of FinesseCurves

It was a great event held in a perfect venue! Everyone had a great time and I can't wait for future productions with these ladies. Follow Fluffy Grl Movement and Dangerous Curves on social media for future updates, and  Fluffy Grl's Fluff Tips (which are awesome!).

Recent Happenings: Murmuration Festival, Sista Strut, Saint Louis Natural Hair and Black Cultural Expo

Over the last two weeks, I've thoroughly enjoyed myself at a variety of events throughout the city that are proving that St. Louis has much to offer the world in the areas of health, arts, and culture. Here's a brief recap of the Murmuration Festival, the 7th Annual Sista Strut, and the 2nd Annual Saint Louis Natural Hair and Black Cultural Expo. All of the events were fantastic!

The Murmuration Festival: Sep. 23 - 25, 2016

Live Human Art Installation

So what is the Murmuration Festival you might be asking? Well, essentially it was a 3-day weekend of events that focused on educating and celebrating people on the subjects of music, art, science, and technology (with a little food, business, social issues, and fashion sprinkled in). Basically, I call it "St. Louis's answer to SXSW."

Wearable art

The festival, which was held at the Cortex, was quite wonderful and a great event for the city of St. Louis. I learned about a lot of great organizations in town that provide resources to help local makers including Archreactor, which provides welding, wood-making, and 3D printing equipment, and classes to local makers to turn their ideas into reality.

The festival also featured great local restaurants including Ices Plain and Fancy, Juniper, LuLu's Seafood and Dim Sum, and others.

Chicken and biscuit dish from Juniper

The biggest highlight of the festival for me was seeing the genius that is Flying Lotus perform on Saturday, Sep. 24th. It was an amazing show! The visuals and music that this man creates is like none other. Seriously! Also, big shout out goes to my friend Chris for accompanying me to the festival. Even though his catch phrase throughout the weekend was "this some weird [bleep]", he still didn't complain about being there and stayed with me the entire time.

Sista Strut: Oct. 1, 2016

This year I decided to do something different, and instead of walking in the Strut, I chose to volunteer at the event, which is hosted by iHeartRadio. It was a great experience. Hopefully the sponsorships and participation will continue to grow for years to come. I saw many friends and church members that I knew there, and everyone had a great time.

While in a conversation among some of the other volunteers, one woman mentioned that her husband believed that the name should be changed to "Sister Strut", instead of Sista Strut in order to get more corporate sponsors, funding, and participation. I quickly challenged this suggestion stating that the whole point of the event is to bring awareness to the black community about breast cancer. The disease takes the lives of more black women than women of any other race. Early detection is the key and together, hopefully one day, there will be a cure.

The Saint Louis Natural Hair and Black Cultural Expo: Oct. 2, 2016

Capping off my fun-filled (busy) weekend was the Saint Louis Natural Hair and Black Cultural Expo! My mom came to the event, which was held at the Holiday Inn Downtown, and had an absolute BLAST! The event was well attended and had a lot of great black-owned vendors there selling their wares. There were so many great natural hairstyles among the hair models, vendors, and attendees alike! My mother and I bought so much jewelry and accessories, it's ridiculous! But we loved it all.

I ran into my influencer buddy, Ms. Ebbi Nicole (Fluffy Girl Movement) while there as well.

One of my favorite booths at the event was that of Jewels 2 Dazzle. Huuuuuuuuuunney, when I tell you I wanted everything on that table! I wanted EVERYTHING! And all of her [Kandas, the owner] items were reasonably priced and very unique!

I can't wait to go back to all of the events next year!